College Roommates: Threes A Crowd

It's hard enough sharing a dorm room the size of a postage stamp with one person, but what happens when your roommate consistently invites friends and dates to hang out too? Even if you all get along, it can get old fast. Sometimes you just want a little privacy. At the very least, you don't want to feel like an outsider in your own room.

Whether you're dealing with your roommate's ever present love interest, or his obnoxious friends who "borrow" your stuff, you need to speak up. Roommate issues like this don't go away by ignoring them, so it's best to be upfront and work together to reach an understanding. Here are some tips that will help:

? Keep an open mind. It's possible that your roommate has no idea there's a problem, so don't assume he's trying to annoy you on purpose.

? Pick the right time to talk. Choose a time to speak to your roommate when the two of you can be alone. Explain that you have nothing against the other people involved, but you feel uncomfortable having them around all the time.

? Be assertive. Stand up for your own rights while respecting the rights of your roommate. You can't control who your roommate spends time with or when, but you do have a say when it affects your time in the room.

? Avoid accusations. Starting your sentences with, "you," sounds like an attack and will likely make your roommate defensive, as in: "You are being selfish." Instead, own your message by starting with, "I," as in: "I'm unhappy with this situation."

? Set reasonable expectations. If you leave the room every time your roommate has over a date or friend, he or she will assume nothing is wrong, and the problem will persist. Both sides need to compromise instead of one person making all the changes.

? Make a schedule. Discuss times when both of you need space to study, sleep, or just be alone and agree to make those times off-limits to guests.

If you don't like conflict, you may be tempted to avoid it by gossiping to other friends or complaining to your Resident Assistant without ever talking to your roommate first. Going around the issue will only makes things worse! By approaching your roommate calmly and respectfully, the two of you can work out an agreement that's fair without things getting blown out of proportion.

Susan Fee is a licensed counselor and author of the book, "My Roommate Is Driving Me Crazy! Solve Conflicts, Set Boundaries, and Survive the College Roommate from Hell" (Adams Media). She offers more college survival tips on her site, http://www.myroommateisdrivingmecrazy.com.

---

Better Links Directory

Dont Graduate - What Students Should Know About College, But No One Ever Tells Them

For all the students even dreaming about going to college,... Read More

All About Grants for College Students

Grants are a type of student aid that is awarded... Read More

Making the Most of Your Summer

At last, summer is here! After a school year full... Read More

Whats behind the Explosive Growth in Distance Learning?

There is a ground swell of support globally to support... Read More

Natural Healing Schools

What are NATURAL HEALING SCHOOLS? Natural Healing Schools teach natural... Read More

Facing Your Fears as an Adult Returning to School

In case you hadn't noticed, career colleges aren't just for... Read More

Why You Should Choose an Accredited Online Degree

An accredited online degree is a college degree that is... Read More

Internetworking and Security Multiple Choice Test

Personally, I dislike Multiple Choice Tests. Because they do not... Read More

Commercialisation of Higher Education in South Africa

Introduction and Literature ReviewSouth African education policies place priority on... Read More

Consolidate Student Loans and Shop Online

If you run a home business, you know that budgets... Read More

College Low Expectations Game Cost Students, Parents, & Taxpayers Thousands of Dollars

During a recent conversation with a client, he shared with... Read More

Limperts Academy of Design Opens Interior Design Education / US and Canada

You may be bursting at the seams with natural talent,... Read More

Researching the Pros and Cons of Getting Your Degree Online

Are you considering getting your bachelor's or master's or other... Read More

Distance Education is Now Training the Next Genertation of Medical Assistants

Some people are calling it distance-free learning for the Medical... Read More

The Freshman 15, or 20, or 25

Now I remember being a freshman in college, and let... Read More

Online Education

I always dreamed of going to school and getting a... Read More

Thinking of Dropping Out of College?

If rising tuition costs or personal concerns have made you... Read More

Tips On College Selection

It is highly recommended that early in the college selection... Read More

Graduation Quotations - Top 35

"Life is my college. May I graduate well, and earn... Read More

How to Save Money While at College

Still struggling to pay off the college loan? Have you... Read More

Online Nursing Degree For Busy Nurses

Many who work in the healthcare or nursing industry know... Read More

Why Pursue Your Degree Online?

Distance education has been around longer than people may realise.... Read More

How to Survive First Year Engineering

So you just got accepted in your engineering program?joy, but... Read More

College Residence Life Staff: Speak to Gain Respect

When you speak, do residents listen or ignore you? If... Read More

Distance Learning and Distance Learning Online

Distance learning has become extremely appealing and widely attended because... Read More