Looking In The Eyes Of Happiness

From what you see around you in your daily lives, happiness may appear an illusory state of existence. Do you see true happiness in the lives of those who pass through your world each day? Do you see, and feel, true happiness in your own life, and the lives of your immediate family? Or in your work colleagues, or fellow commuters?

The answer, in many cases, will be "no, I don't". Why is that? Is it because so many people have so many reasons to be unhappy? Or is it, maybe, because they fail to see what in their lives should be a reason for happiness?

Being short sighted, as I am, can have a drastic affect on the way you see the world around you. I usually only wear glasses to watch tv, or dark glasses outside in the sun. Without them, the world can be severely distorted. Somebody I know well could pass me by, and if I'm not close enough, I will not recognize them. Worse still, I may think I recognize someone only to find to my embarrassment that is not them at all; in fact, the person may not even remotely look like the friend I had thought it was. More often than not, that would be because of expectation; I would expect to see a certain person in a certain place, and someone would appear, maybe with similar clothes on, and I would think "It's??."

Not long ago that happened with my own wife. I wanted to talk to her, and knew she was out the back of our apartment chatting. Before I even went out on the balcony to call her, I was expecting her to be in the garden below. I went out, and there was indeed a group of women and children sitting around a table chatting below. My eyes immediately went to the lady who was dressed with clothes similar to some my wife owned, but she was a little too far away, and my eyes could not focus properly. She was looking at me but not quite in the right way, but because I was expecting my wife, that's who I momentarily saw. I just realized in time to stop asking her to come back up to the apartment for a while, which would have caused quite a stir among the assembled group. My wife was actually in a house 50 metres away across the garden.

Is Happiness The Victim Of Short Sightedness?

I believe that when it comes to happiness, many people have lost the ability to focus their eyes on what is their surrounding reality. Society has almost become conditioned to discontentedness and unhappiness. Being unhappy and dissatisfied has become an expectation for so many people, so when someone looks around at their lives on a day to day basis, there is a distinct absence of happiness in what they see. Even if happiness had a nucleus before their eyes, it would not be within their field of vision, because it would not be what they were expecting.

Happiness is a state of mind that is within reach of everybody. If two people could have identical lives, one could be happy and the other miserable, just because of the different ways they can view that same life. Like cooking, it is what you do with the ingredients. You could give a set of bland ingredients to two cooks; one who is Cordon Bleu trained could create a delightful meal, presented beautifully; the other, not trained and not interested, would create a bland mess and dump it on the plate like dog food. It is the same with the ingredients of happiness. You, the chef, have to decide what to do with them. Not anybody else; you!

Seeing, Recognizing and Focusing on the Nuclei of Happiness

It is so easy to neglect the things that, even within your own life already, are the nuclei of happiness. What those nuclei are will depend on you, but you have enough knowledge of yourself to recognize what they are. Think about them, and ask yourself if you have been neglecting them. In many cases, the answer will be yes. Instead, you may have been concentrating your thoughts on the things that make you unhappy. In effect, if you are unhappy, much of the cause can be because you have decided to be unhappy rather than happy. All the time you are making decisions that bring unhappiness to the fore, and pushes happiness into a distant background.

That does not apply, of course, to those who have recently suffered a tragedy of some sort in their lives. That surge of unhappiness is natural, necessary and part of the process of healing. But what you decide from now on will dictate whether that feeling of unhappiness will become permanent or not.

You make decisions every day that dictate whether you will feel happy or unhappy. By focusing on the nuclei of happiness, it is the unhappy state which will be shunted to the background, neglected and forgotten. That's how it should be.

I will give only one illustration, a personal one. There are several happiness nuclei in my life, but there is one that, or rather who, gives me opportunity every day to decide: do I want to be happy or unhappy?

Once I divorced about 7 years ago, I decided I would only remarry if there was a chance of having children. 18 months ago, my wife and I were blessed with a delightful daughter. It was a joyous time, one that all our friends here indulged in and were excited by. I was excited and happy from the moment the pregnancy was confirmed.

I am very busy at home much of the day in my little office room. Much of what I do requires a lot of concentration, and silence is preferred as the best background to work. Saffron is now walking around freely. She has grown up used to me sharing her bedroom for the computer, but now we have moved and I have a separate room, she still wants to share sometimes. At various times during the day she will toddle in, with a wide beautiful smile, carrying a cuddly, or some other, toy for me to share. She will put it down by my chair, then get another, until she is sitting there next to me, on the floor, with a pile of toys.

Each time she comes in, I have a decision to make. Do I get cross because she is disturbing me? Or do I relish the fact that I have this beautiful little girl as an integral part of my life?

Saffron is happiness personified much of the time, and always when she walks into my room, in anticipation of a big welcome from Dad. Children often know much more about happiness than adults do, and if you allow them to, they can feed you with that happiness.

At every opportunity, I look into Saffron's young eyes and see unpolluted happiness. My decision is easy. I allow her to make me happy too, and focus clearly on it.

Roy Thomsitt is owner and part author of http://www.routes-to-self-improvement.com

---

Better Links Directory

A Surefire Way To Manage Your Fears While Leading A Happier, Healthier Life

Imagine discovering a way to get rid of your fears... Read More

It Costs Nothing To Smile

I like to be around positive people, people who tend... Read More

Inevitable Changes and Changeless Connections

Sometimes change is pleasant. A child is born. A new... Read More

Happiness Is In Our Own Hands

Other people can bring tremendous happiness to our lives but... Read More

Smile - A Look at False Happiness

Smile... You'll make your brain wonder what your face is... Read More

Maybe Money CAN Buy Happiness

Can money buy happiness? It's easy to say no, and... Read More

Health and Medical Advice on the Internet: Use it Wisely to Overcome Illness and Find More Happiness

I've got a bit of a problem with depression and... Read More

Happiness Increases Longevity...Where Do We Find This Gift of Life?

According to U.S. research, you can add seven and a... Read More

The ABCs Of A Great Life: J Is For Joviality

Laughter, humor, a lighthearted sense of being - all of... Read More

Choose To Be Happy

What if I told you that you have the ability... Read More

5 Keys to Understanding Why Your Life (probably) Sucks! #3

The outcome of Reason # 2 is that you become... Read More

5 Fabulous B?s for the Happiest You!

Sure it sounds easy? "Be happy." Let's face it there... Read More

How Do You Define Happiness?

I ran a contest in "Your Daily Dose of Happiness"... Read More

Do You Still Have This Type of Dreams?

Jesus says in Matthew 13:25"But while men slept, his enemy... Read More

Health and Happiness - Self Test

First of all, examine yourself outwardly.Look at your fingernails. Are... Read More

Love Yourself First ? Im Happy. Youre Happy. Were All Happy!

As a teenager growing up reading 'Blue Jeans' and 'Jackie',... Read More

Sunny Days Are Here To Stay

Yes, this is correct. Sunny Days are here to stay,... Read More

Poetic Romance

Romance is conveyed in so many different ways.One less commonly... Read More

How To Focus On The Positive Qualities Of Your Relationship

The quality of your life has a strong connection with... Read More

Wisdom

What is wisdom? But first, what are the conditions that... Read More

10 Steps to Happily Ever After

Do you know what all happy and healthy marriages have... Read More

Suffering and Happiness

The one feature that sets life on Earth apart from... Read More

You Can?t See Your Own Eyes

My friend called me this morning from her favorite coffee... Read More

Self Identity: Who Are You?

Self-identity? Who are you really? We identify with many things,... Read More

The Golden Moments in Life

This month I'm going to talk about something I've never... Read More